


When she falls, he rises

by ReyloTrash2187



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Bottom Kylo Ren, Dark Rey (Star Wars), Dark Reylo, Dark Side Rey, Dominant Rey, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren in Love, Multi, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Protective Ben Solo, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Smut, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, Submissive Kylo Ren, The Dark Side of the Force, let's pretend English is my first language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 16:35:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22259335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReyloTrash2187/pseuds/ReyloTrash2187
Summary: Post-The Rise Of The Skywalker. Rey is in the Resistance, grieving and alone. She experiences nightmares and intense memories she cannot shake. She has lost everything, and the dark side is calling to her. She begins her downfall. But, darkness rises and light to meet it.
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 51
Kudos: 99





	1. Afraid at night

**Author's Note:**

> I am excited to present to you my first english fanfiction ever in the star wars universe. Reylo is my OTP, I hope you'll like it !

_The moment Ben disappeared; Rey stopped breathing. She felt it through her bones, in her veins, in her very soul._

_He was gone._

_How could it be ? She could feel the warmth of his hand fade in hers. Everything felt too real, too cruel. It was not possible. Her blood rushed to her head and a ringing began in her ears. He was there. Just there. Where was he now ? The fabric of his dark shirt was resting against her palm, so soft and rough at the same time – empty._

_Empty._

_Her lips were trembling as her grip on the shirt tightened. He was really gone._

_“No,” she murmured._

_She searched the Force for a sign of his presence, anything that would lead to him. But it was silent. Cold. And lonely. Salty tears rolled down her cheeks, uncontrollable. As she swallowed hard her first lump of air, a tearing scream of pain burst out of her, resonating on the rock walls all around her. She had lost everything. It felt like a member just had been ripped off of her body. Living felt so sore._

_“BRING HIM BACK TO ME ! I CAN’T GO ON WITHOUT HIM ! PLEASE !”_

_The Jedis were silent. They were not there. They were not listening, not responding. She never felt so alone. She dived her face into his shirt, forehead on the ground and she sobbed loudly, filling painfully her nostrils with his smell._

_“Please…” she begged, her voice muffled by the fabric._

_“Rey…”_

_His voice, Ben’s voice, from far away, calling her._

_“Rey”_

_It was intensifying. The pain. This pain…_

_“_ Rey. _”_

She woke up, panting, still feeling the same striking pain it her chest. She was in her quarters in the Resistance. She recognized the softness of the bed and the smell of the room. Her room. The air around her was fresh. The sky was still dark through the blinds but she could see with the help of the moonlight.

_Just a dream. It was just a dream._

Still shaken, she gently sat up and palmed her cheeks with the back of her hand; it was damp. She had cried again. Since it happened three months ago, she had dreamt this moment dozens of times : this nightmare, this _memory_ was so vivid, so intense each time it was close to unbearable. Losing him again and again in her mind, the helplessness, the anger, the raging pain… It was awful. She paced her breath, running fingers in her hair to get it out of her face, and tried to gather her thoughts.

And that’s when she felt it.

Rey froze, listening to every sound around her. There was something familiar rushing through the Force. Something she didn’t feel in a long time.

“Rey.”

She turned her head to the corner of her room. He was there, right in front of her. His dark hair and brown eyes staring at her silently. He was sitting across the room. And seeing him, like he was there, almost real, almost in her reach, it hurt because she knew. She knew what _he_ was.

“You are just a memory,” she let out softly in a gasp.

“You are not alone,” he said, just as before.

Tears came right back up, clouding her gaze and spreading freely on her hot cheeks. She _was_ alone. _So alone_. That was all that was left for her - Force memories. As real as it felt, she knew it wasn’t him. He wasn’t there, but yet so close to be… She sobbed as she manage to enunciate poorly :

“N-Neither are y-you…”

His expression was neutral but his brown eyes were intensely buried into hers. She couldn’t turn her gaze away from him even if she wanted to. In this memory, he was still Kylo Ren, with his old scar across his face; but through the cracks she knew the man who saved her was there. Ben Solo was there. She slowly got up of her bed and approached him carefully as if he were a wounded animal. She was unable to let this memory go, craving to relive every second of it. She wanted to contemplate every aspect of his face, every hint of expression, every detail she had forgotten about that night. Seeing a pale version of him was something she treasured. It was rare and fragile ; precious and irresistible.

Without breaking their silent exchange, she took a chair to sit right in front of him. She sniffed as she extended timidly her hand towards him, as she did in the past. She held her breath when she saw him look at it, then back at her, with the little twitch under his left eye. There was something so pure about all of this. Goosebumps spread from her neck to her toes.

This was all she had now.

She watched him carefully take out his black glove and extend his hand to meet hers. So slowly. She finally exhaled, trembling and vulnerable.

 _Oh Force, please,_ please _, let this memory last_.

His pale fingers were inches from hers. She could only think of them, eager and frightened of touching them : she didn’t want him to disappear again. She needed him. She needed him so much. She took a deep breath.

In.

And Out.

In.

And Out.

Her heartbeat was loud in her ears. She finally pressed slightly her hand against his and like the first time, she felt everything : hope, their future together, his redemption… Everything.

 _Lies,_ she thought, trying not to let it ruin her memory.

She looked at him, desperate to take all of his essence in, engraving it in her mind before Luke came and made Ben’s head turn away from her. She still felt his hope and sadness, everything that made him who he was. Ben Solo, Kylo Ren, was so lonely before her. She detailed his beautiful black hair framing his long and rectangular face, his pale forehead above his dark eyebrows, his deep and giant eyes staring back at her, and his red lips slightly parting. His beautiful and outrageous lips.

Force, was he delightful to watch.

She waited breathlessly for this moment to be broken. Anytime now. But he did something she didn’t remember : he swallowed down his saliva, bulging his Adam’s apple. She frowned in confusion. She knew this memory so well. And this never happened. She was sure of it. Letting herself move, she slowly took her fingers up his soft palm then his arm, caressing his skin and the fabric of his shirt, as he silently let her do it. She could feel at the same time his fingers timidly touching her forearm, warm and soft, sending shivers down her spine.

This felt so real.

Where was Luke ? It was a memory, and she remembered it clearly. None of this had happened before. How was it happening now ? She bit her lower lip and was surprised to see him glance at it, a spark of desire noticeable in his dark – very dark – eyes.

“Ben,” she whispered.

He lifted his head, waiting for her words that didn’t come. She couldn’t repress new tears, tears of joy and despair. She could not believe what she was experiencing and yet. Yet, she couldn’t risk thinking about it too much. It couldn’t last forever. She didn’t want to break the experiment. He stood still, simply looking at her. Her fingers traced lightly the way to his bare neck and she swore she could feel him quiver as she caressed his skin until she reached his jaw. He was almost there.

 _He_ felt so real.

She barely breathed as she cupped his cheek with all the delicacy in the world, afraid to break his reflection, amazed at the touch of his face. He exhaled loudly, slowly taking out his other glove then putting his hand on the back of her palm that was touching him.

Warmth.

“Rey,” he murmured.

He didn’t make a move, waiting for her approval, waiting for her to show him what she wanted and she knew it. She gulped before asking :

“Ben, can I…?”

She shifted on her chair to be closer to him, paying attention to every slight reaction he had as she approached him. This moment was so fragile from now. He accepted her, welcomed her with his gaze. His intense and unsettling gaze.

“Can I kiss you ?”

A haze was covering his eyes, he looked at her so deeply, she could feel him wanting her. She saw him barely tilt his head but it wasn’t enough of a response, so she waited a few more seconds until he admitted under a breath :

“Yes.”

She was fixating his lips now. His red, beautiful, merciful lips. Ben’s lips. Too long had she dreamt of this happening again, and now it was about to. Finally, it was about to. Despite her whole body screaming and wanting to kiss him, she slowly moved her other hand to his other cheek and approached her face to his. She felt his breath on her mouth.

He was _there_ , and so close.

His scent. She could smell his scent. It was faded but, Force, had she missed his scent. Musky and strong. Their noses were now brushing against each other. He was still letting her come to him. Even back then, this could have happened. Even back then, he wanted her and loved her. As Ben Solo. As Kylo Ren. After everything.

She shuddered when she pressed gently her lips against his.

This kiss was delicate, timid and innocent. All this tension of discovering one another in the air, all the tenderness of this unpredicted moment. Rey didn’t want to rush anything. His lips were soft and sweet, just as she remembered. His face in her hands and his lips slowly moving against hers. There was a tickle in her stomach. Her heart was beating fast. She could finally breathe.

It felt so right.

She parted slowly her face from his, staying very close as she took the time to look at him again. He was barely breathing, his chest moving up and down, staring at her lips and eyes, craving her more and more. She brushed his cheek with her thumb across his scar. That’s when a raw feeling invaded her body : it was desperate lust. So powerful, so intense, it was as a burning fire running on her skin. She wanted him, she wanted to feel him, to touch him and to be touched by him. To be with him. She saw the little twitch under his eye again. He was boiling with desire too.

“Rey, you…” he started.

“I want you,” she interrupted.

She couldn’t refrain it anymore. She smashed back her face in his as he urgently took her in his arms, close to him. Their body brutally collided when she suddenly stood up from her chair and sat on his laps. His giant hands were firmly pressing on her, perfectly fitting the shape of her back, as she was grabbing his hair by one hand and his neck by the other. They were breathing loudly on each other’s mouth between heated and delicious kiss, wetter and wetter each time. She could feel him. She could smell him. And, Force, she could touch him.

“Ben,” she breathed hastily.

Their tongue met and sensually slipped on one another. She was ready to melt in his arms, driven by his scent, to make him hers and make her his. All she tasted was pure ecstasy.

“ _Let the past die._ ”

His voice in her mind. It was so sudden and out of place that she detached herself from him, baffled. It was not the memory of Ben talking. But his voice was there.

“ _Kill it, if you have to._ ”

Ben dissolved in her arms, leaving nothing behind. To see him disappear right in front of her again, it struck at her very core. She was completely alone again, emptier than she had ever been.

“No.”

How many times would she have to relive this ? She felt dizzy, emotions bubbling under her skin, sadness and rage roaming through her. The cold pull of the dark side strangled her, leaving her breathless and aching.

“ _You’re his granddaughter. You are a Palpatine._ ”

Images flashed before her eyes. Her as a child, her master grabbing firmly her arm, keeping her from following the ship in which her parents left. Her high-pitch scream ringing in her ears.

“ _Remember what you did, Rey._ ”

“No !”

Her little hand reaching out to the ship, wanting, needing them to come back. Her, feeling something buzzing through the air with her abandonment, loss and anger. The darkness of the Force as she extended her arm further. The blue lighting that came out of her fingers, connecting to the ship far away, trying to grab it. Her parents’ ship bursting in flames and crashing in the Jakku desert in loud sound.

“ _You killed them._ ”

“NO !”

“ _The dark side lives through you, Rey Palpatine. It always had._ ”

She covered her ears, trying to shake out the memories, taking them where they came from.

“ _Quit fighting it._ ”

“NO ! MAKE IT STOP !”

She almost didn’t hear her door being slammed open. Every word burned through her like a thousand swords plugged in her heart. She saw through her tears Finn’s face as he grabbed her hands before pulling her in his arms.

“Rey ! Rey, are you okay ?! I am here now ! Let go !”

She couldn’t feel the warmth of his embrace, all she could feel was loss and pain, grinding her teeth and trembling, begging for everything to stop. No one was there. No one understood. Her parents were gone. Ben was gone. All she could do was cry loudly as Finn patted her back.

“It’s okay now, you are okay… Shh…”

“I killed them…” she repeated over and over. “I killed them…”

“I’m sure it’s just a nightmare again. Everything’s okay.”

From that moment to the moment she felt tiredness overwhelming her, all she could remember was Finn’s gentle strokes and words of comfort, and the horrific images she buried during all those years that resurfaced. Ben Solo was dead. And she was not.


	2. Numb at dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter served ! Hope you'll like it ;)

There was banging on the door.

“ _Come and eat something with us, Rey !_ ” Finn’s worried voice said in.

She rolled over in bed, wide awake. Her eyes felt numb and swollen from crying, her back was stiffed from oversleeping. She didn’t want to talk. She didn’t want to see anyone. Actually, she didn’t want do anything but lay there under the covers.

“ _Shouldn’t we leave her alone if she wants to sleep ?_ ”

“ _I told you, Poe, she was not well at all last night. If you had seen her, you would understand._ ”

The voices were a little muffed by her bedroom door and her friends were really trying to be discreet but she could still distinctly hear their conversation.

“ _Last night ?_ _Oh, so_ that _’s why the bed was cold for so long._ ”

“ _Shh ! She could hear you !_ ”

“ _What ? Are we hiding, now ?_ ”

“ _No, that’s not-… you know what I meant ! Rey is going through some stuff, I just don’t want to remind her of… well… you-know-who !_ ”

“ _You-know-who ? Really ?_ ”

“ _She’s hurting. Let’s just not say his name, okay ?_ ”

“ _We still don’t know exactly what happened on Exegol._ ”

“ _So ? I know she doesn’t want to talk about it, that she has seen him there and each time someone mentions him, she bursts into tears. Shouldn’t it be enough ?_ ”

“ _I guess you’re right..._ ”

The banging resumed on her door. She silently grunted, pushing her pillow off her face before massaging the bridge of her nose. She did not want to face them, didn’t want to face reality.

“ _Rey, open up !_ ”

“ _But she’s a big girl, she knows what she needs when she needs it. We don’t want to force her to be comforted, don’t you agree ?_ ”

Finn sighed.

“ _Something is not right. She is not herself. Last night, I felt it. She… She needs us, Poe._ ”

It was her turn to exhale deeply. She couldn’t just let them talk about her like this. It had to stop. They were not going to leave if she didn’t intervene. So, she crawled out of the covers, rose groggily from her bed, then stumbled over her own feet on her way to her door.

“ _Okay, but if she wants to mourn a bad guy, let her mourn a bad-_ ”

She opened her door, catching Poe mid-sentence.

“Guys,” she greeted with raised eyebrows.

They looked at her, both surprised and concerned, and there were a few seconds of silence during which they all just stared at each other. Finn was the first to talk :

“Rey, hi. How are you feeling ?”

“Terrible,” she admitted, sleepily.

Her friends shared a knowing look.

“That’s… fine,” he answered cautiously. “Do you want to come and join us for lunch ?”

She didn’t know what to say. She felt a twinge of guilt for wanting to be alone as they were presently the most compassionate and well-hearted people she knew. She gulped.

“If you don’t want to, it’s okay too,” Poe added before being hit not-so-discreetly in the ribs by Finn. “Ouch, hey !”

“We don’t need to talk, all right ? It’s about us three getting something to eat. We could just hang out, you know,” said Finn.

“I am happy for you guys,” Rey declared.

She was sincere and she hoped they could see through her numb state and her sadness that it was true. She saw their expression change as they were looking at her.

_Great, pity. Just what I needed._

“Are you sure you don’t want to come ? You should eat something. We could sneak some food in to your room if you want,” Finn suggested.

“Yeah, just say the word. He is known to be the greatest smuggler of all time.”

She didn’t know she could smile but she did. They were just being so nice to her and she couldn’t return the favor. She was such a bad friend. Being in this state all the time, unable to tell them what was wrong, unable to share with them what they were willing to share with her.... How could they still want to be her friend after she pushed them away so many times ?

“I don’t think I will be hungry…” she confessed.

“Well-“

“Well,” Poe cut Finn off, “if you change your mind, we will be at the cafeteria, okay ?”

She nodded. Poe tilted his head to tell his lover to get going with him. Finn hesitated and for a short moment she thought he would pull her in his arms, but he didn’t. Instead, he backed up and said :

“See you very soon, okay Rey ?”

“Okay,” she managed to let out with a small voice.

She watched them leave before going back in her room, closing the door after her. She shut her eyes, a tear rolling down her cheek, when she felt it. The same change in the Force as last night.

 _His_ scent.

“Why is the Force connecting us ? You and I.”

His voice was low, measured and so soft. She knew his image – her memory of him – was there, in this very room, but she didn’t know if she had the strength to look at him again. It was just too hard. Her eyes were still shut when she said bluntly, trembling with emotions :

“You are not there.”

“Can you see my surroundings ?”

She choked on new tears. He was not there. He was not, and yet.

Yet.

She slowly opened her eyes and saw him standing before her. Not Ben Solo, but Kylo Ren. Tall in his elegant black attire that suited him so well, his scar across his marble face, and his beautiful and intense brown gaze in hers. She bit hard on her lower lip.

“I can’t see yours,” Kylo continued. “Just you.”

She didn’t know she held on her breath until she took a huge gulp of air, salty tears streaming down her face. She ached for him, missed him so much.

“T-This is torture,” she muttered more to herself than to him.

“Rey.”

“W-Why is this even happening ? How ?!”

He looked at her silently, and it messed even more with her head. Injustice, resentment was lodged in her throat and she spat out fiercely :

“Why do I see you ?! You are gone ! This is not fair ! Why !?”

“I saw something too,” he whispered.

She knew what he was going to say but it had a whole other meaning now.

“Because of what I saw, I know when the moment comes, you’ll be the one to turn.”

“And what ? I’ll stand with you ? You are dead, Ben ! You-…” Her voice broke and she inhaled scarcely. “You are… dead.”

She was crying even harder, her face burning hot and her nails digging deep in her palms. Three months. It had been three months and it still felt like yesterday. She couldn’t help herself. Him in her room, just in front of her, looking helplessly at her, his presence, his _essence_... There or not there, it didn’t matter.

She was craving for him.

She rushed to slam herself into him, burying her face in his chest, taking in his faded smell, wrapping herself with his arms. She was only longing for him, even a pale version of him, anything that resembled him. Her memory would never be good enough, but that was it. She couldn’t think straight.

“Be with me,” she begged in his shirt, tightening her grip on his strong body. “Just be with me, _please_ , be with me.”

She gasped when she felt his gloved hand on her neck, holding her against him. Force, she _needed_ this with all of her heart and soul. Why was he gone ?

“ _You know what you have to do._ ”

It resonated in her mind, not coming from the image of him she held in her arms. His voice was loud and compelling, like a hot caramel beverage. She breathed out in a sob, not wanting to let him go, entirely focused on him.

“ _You’re a Palpatine._ ”

It felt surreal. She didn’t expect any answer when she asked back :

“So what ?”

“ _You can save him._ ”

Him ? It was Ben’s voice. Non-sense. Why would Ben talk about himself at the third person ? She frowned, confused.

“Save me,” she heard _him_ through his chest.

She backed away. He was staring at her with now pleading eyes. Those eyes... It tore something deep inside of her, twisted it, pressed it, _crushed_ it. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to be, it hurt to _live_. She could not _function_ without him.

“How ?” she could only mouth under her breath.

“ _You killed all the Sith on Exegol, Rey, but you did not kill the Sith within._ ”

Ben touched her cheek, sending a shiver down her spine. What was he talking about ?

“Me ? A Sith ?”

“The power will be yours to use as you please. The Jedis were wrong, they left me to _die_ for you, Rey. They never cared about you or me, why should you for them ?”

Pain, unfairness, anger rushed through her veins. The Jedis only cared about her defeating their own enemy, Palpatine. Nothing else. After using her, they through her like garbage. They left her alone, isolated, the last of her kind here on earth, without any guidance, any comfort. How were _they_ the good guys ? The cold and dark grip of the Force was all around her, electrifying the air, calling to her. Thinking about how Ben Solo was disposed of, after he was the only one who came for her, despite everyone and everything in his way. How could they have left him ? How could they ?

“The Jedis are not the only ones to think I should be dead.”

She felt conflicted, emotions and raw power in her reach, and questions rising from her mind. Questions the memory of Ben was prompt to answer :

“Open your eyes. You’re the only one crying for me, Rey. No one except you can even tolerate me. They’re glad I am gone. You once said no one understood you, but I do. They wouldn’t approve of me, of your choices, of who you are deep down.”

A flash of Finn and Poe’s faces came to her. She felt the anger and pain fading into guilt and hesitation.

“They are my friends,” she objected. “You were not Kylo Ren anymore, you were Ben Solo, they would have-…”

“They wouldn’t care.”

She could hear Poe’s words from earlier when he talked to Finn about Ben : “ _If she wants to mourn a bad guy, let her mourn a bad…_ ”. A bad guy. That’s all they thought of him. She sniffed, shaking her head in denial.

“They don’t know you, but if they-“

“No, Rey.”

It felt harsh but true. She wasn’t sure what to think anymore. Him, his presence, the injustice of his death, the agonizing silent Jedis were putting her through… It all messed with her head. She was alone against the world. No one understood. No one ever could understand what it mean to lose a dyad. _No one_ could.

“Not after everything I did,” Ben said. “They would not forgive me. They think I got what I deserved.”

She grinded her teeth, feeling another wave of emotions hit her hard.

“You didn’t,” she assured.

“ _Rey._ ”

Him calling her, every time, all the time. She couldn’t shake it. Cupping his jaw, she saw him fade away, tearing her apart, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. Loneliness. And just like that he was gone again. _Again_. When would all of this stop ?

“ _You know what you have to do_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little hint of FinnPoe in there because they're bae <3 If you liked it, leave a comment, it helps me improve my writing and boost my imagination (plus, it warms my little Reylo heart after TRoS we all need it). Sorry for the angst, but Ben Solo dying is so angsty and I had to work with that lol  
> Thank you so much for reading, you're awesome! Next chapter will come soon, don't worry :)


	3. Kanata's comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third one coming through ! Enjoy :D  
> I apologize in advance for the angst, someday I will get to the fluff and smutt, I'll manage!

She would not turn to the dark side. Not after every warning she received from everyone. Not after what she saw what it did to Ben Solo. There was simply not a chance.

But she still felt conflicted.

She stayed in her room all afternoon, thinking about her visual, audible and sensible memory of Ben, about what he said. She had doubts about her friends. She knew Finn and Poe were supporting her even if they didn’t know exactly what was going on, but what if they knew ? What then ? Finn knew Ben meant a lot to her, but to what extend ? He didn’t know about the dyad. He didn’t know she and Ben kissed on Exegol. He didn’t know he wasn’t Kylo Ren anymore. What had she said to him when she had been waking up in the middle of the night, screaming, crying, _agonizing_ of loss ? What would he think of her if he knew ? With General Organa gone, no one could understand Ben Solo’s redemption.

Except for Maz Kanata.

Rey had to see her. Maz Kanata had to know some answers to her questions. On whether Rey would not be even more alone if all of the Resistance knew about her and Ben Solo. On what was going on with the Jedis’ silence. On why she was experiencing all of this.

That night, after _days_ of isolation, Rey decided to come out of her room and find the old lady. Maz was still in the Resistance base ; they needed all the help they could find to put an end to the First Order once and for all. Rey knew where to find her. She stepped out of her room and walked down the halls of the soldier section, looking straight ahead. As she was passing by common areas, she felt a few gazes on her she chose not to pay attention to. She was a legend among them, a fighter who led the way to win the war, a hero who saved them all in the battle of Exegol, who gave them hope.

_An anomaly._

She tried to push down the loneliness that had momentarily struck her and focused on her goal. When she finally arrived at her destination, she knocked on the door.

“ _Come on in._ ”

Rey complied and took a look around her. Maz’s room was bigger than hers but was filled with antiques and curiosities. Old and dusty books, chests, scrolls, telescopes covered all four walls. In the middle, stood an oval table where lingered battle plans, maps and pieces of disassembled blasters under repair. Where could she find a space to sleep between all this mess ?

“Close the door, Rey.”

She quickly apologized, shutting the door behind her, then facing the odd little woman with wrinkled and orange skin. Compassion was overflowing from Maz as she approached Rey, taking delicately her hand in hers, as a caring grandmother.

“Dear child…”

Rey inhaled deeply before kneeling down to be at her eye level. She knew she was Force sensitive and she wondered if…

“You’re wondering if I can feel the conflict in you.”

Rey gulped before nodding hesitantly.

“Lady Kanata, I…” She didn’t know how or where to begin. “I…”

“You are grieving. It’s okay, we all are. General Organa was a magnificent soul, she-”

“No, that’s not… She is not…”

Not who she was grieving ? What an awful thing to say ! She only meant she could more easily feel at peace with her becoming one with the Force, because she had felt her leave, felt her goodbye and reassuring thoughts. Back when she and Ben were… She and Ben were…

“Who are you grieving then ?” Maz Kanata asked with a calm voice.

She appeared worried but patient, she knew Rey needed time to confess who she was having intense nightmares about for so long.

“Ben Solo,” she admitted under her breath.

She had no tears left in her, sucked dry after a whole day of crying, but if she had, she would have let them spread freely on her cheeks by just pronouncing his name. Maz added her other hand on top of their embrace to tighten her grip.

“I see.”

Rey thought Maz was taking time to process this information and choose her words wisely. She waited for her to talk more about him; she wanted an explanation, a life lesson, a word of empathy, _anything_ , but it didn’t come. The young woman felt confused and a bit betrayed, all her hopes crumbling under her bitter disappointment.

“I-I don’t understand why,” Rey said, feeling anger rising up again. “Why did he have to die ? Where is he ? Why doesn’t anyone answer any of my calls ? Why are all the Jedis silent now after they just used me as a weapon ? No one bothers to explain anything to me. I am just so sick of it all.”

“Light is what matters. Feel it, it’s all around us.”

“But this is not about light. All of it is unfair. I cannot just ignore this…” She felt furious at the pity she saw filling Maz small blue eyes, staring at her as if she was a child who didn’t understand a thing. “How can _you_ just ignore this ?”

“I have been there long enough to know nothing comes good out of resentment.”

“So you’re saying I should just let it go ?”

“I know it’s not easy, child, believe me, but-”

“Is that what we did with the Resistance fighting the First Order ? Just shutting down feelings, accepting our fate and letting it go ? Didn’t we change things by _not_ letting it go ?”

“You know how dangerous and destructive the dark side can be, Rey. Those emotions you are feeling are not pushing you in the right direction.”

Rey abruptly took back her hand, looking straight into the old woman’s eyes, powerful waves of emotions rushing through her.

“How do you know what’s right for me ? How does _any_ of you know ?” she snapped. “You pretend you know me so well, as if I were the hero of this story, but I never get the chance to express who I am and who I want to be. Everybody keeps choosing for me, everybody sees in me who they want to see, but it is _not_ who I am.”

Her heart was beating fast in her chest and she felt Force around them change its allegiance. Where it was before sparks of hope and parts of grey shadows, it was now glowing with a threatening buzz of raw power. Rey felt it melting with her body in a cold and soft grasp.

“You knew back then, didn’t you ?” she then accused, grinding her teeth, daring Maz to lie to her. “When you said they were never coming back, you knew I was the one who killed my parents, didn’t you ?”

Maz Kanata just stood there in shock, unresponsive. Rey rose on her feet, staring at her from above now, demanding an answer, hatred growing inside of her.

“DIDN’T YOU ?!” she yelled.

She saw it. Remorse in Maz’s expression.

“Why didn’t you tell me ?” Rey asked, her voice breaking.

“I-I wanted to protect you, child, I’m sorry, I-”

“By _lying_ to me ?”

“You were not destined to be on the dark side, Rey ! I couldn’t put more weight on your shoulders. You had to know the truth in your own time to learn about the light and understand that your blood doesn’t define who you are.”

“You shouldn’t have made that decision for me.”

Maz remained silent at that, not denying it. Rey was overwhelmed with injustice.

“You and the Jedis are wrong. You manipulate and brainwash every soul you come across to rally them to your cause, praising the greater good, afraid of different ways, of their power. You hide to survive and repress what makes us human beings. You all are _cowards_.”

Rey spoke with disgust and indignation. She spun around and opened the door when she heard Maz’s worry voice behind her :

“Rey, please ! You cannot turn your back on Jedis ! I know they are not answering your prayers but it doesn’t mean that they don’t listen ! The Resistance needs you.”

“I am not leaving the Resistance,” she said, not facing her but remaining still.

“Good ! Good… I’m sorry, child, you deserved better.”

Rey turned slightly her head to make eye contact with her, beaming with dark energy, and she declared with assurance before slamming the door behind her :

“So did Ben Solo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Reylo in this one (sorry) and a LOT of angst, BUT I hope you still liked it :)   
> Thank you for reading and please leave a comment if you really enjoyed it, helps me know what direction I should take and if I am doing a good job until now. You are all awesome ! <3


	4. Dying sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you may notice, I had a busy weekend (NOT) ! For your greatest pleasure. Enjoy :)

She grabbed her lightsaber and went straight to the forest, going deep into the woods, as far as possible from any Resistance member, not standing being around anyone who admired her without even knowing who she was.

They were all so blind.

Her pulse was erratic and her vision was becoming blurry and wet as the fresh air whipped her face with every quick step she took. They were tears of frustration, tears of despair and hate. She swallowed, feeling a scream of rage stuck in her gut, wanting to come out. The Force was trembling with her, wrapping her with rough and delicious energy, like an ally, ready to strike. She ignited in a buzz her yellow lightsaber and began running towards the biggest tree she momentarily saw. She jumped high in the air, letting go of her thundering scream, and sliced with all her strength the giant trunk before pushing it hard with the raw power of the Force. She heard a loud creak when it was ripped in half, then a lot of other smaller creaks as it began to fall back, crushing other trees behind. A cloud of frightened birds squawked and flew from the high branches all around her, accompanying the large and trembling thud of the crashing trees. Out of breath, she felt more tears surging out of her, indignation and hate roaming her veins, like blood coming out of an open wound. The dark side of the Force was resonating with all of her.

“ _Rey._ ”

His voice in her mind was barely noticeable through all of her emotions. She was panting, tightening her grip on the saber, when she felt the same change as before in the Force. She immediately sensed his presence behind her.

“I offered you my hand once,” he said calmly, almost gently. “You wanted to take it. Why didn’t you ?”

She suddenly turned around, roaring as she ran ferociously towards him. She abruptly stopped right in front of him, her lightsaber inches from his neck. He didn’t blink, didn’t flinch, staring back at her with all the intensity she remembered he was capable of. His pale and scarred face was tinted by the golden glow of her blade.

“Why. Are. You. _Here_ ?” she growled, demanding an answer from whoever or whatever _this_ was.

“You have that look in your eyes. From the forest… When you called me a monster.”

“ANSWER ME !” she ordered, tears streaming down her face.

“Don’t be afraid, I feel it too.”

She felt her heart twitch at his words, but it only made her pain and fury more vivid and intoxicating. She inhaled and took a swing at him, knowing she couldn’t kill him but wanting a reaction, _any_ reaction from him. He disappeared only to reappear behind her again, standing very still, just looking at her. She loudly grunted in frustration, slaying again her buzzing weapon through the air in his direction, but to no avail. He just popped up somewhere else around her again.

“WHY ARE YOU HERE ?!”she barked at him.

“It’s just _us_ now !”

Another memory, another sentence he had said to her before. This was too much. When will it stop ? Why was she experiencing this ? Why wouldn’t just anybody answer _any_ of her questions ? She was so done with it all, agonizing because of his faded and unresponsive presence. In a last attempt, she vigorously threw her ignited saber at him and, instead of disappearing again, he lifted up his gloved hand and stopped it with the Force in mid-air. She was exhausted. She fell on her knees as she saw him grab the saber and turn it off before approaching her. She just wanted everything to stop. She exhaled chaotically, anger and pain filling her lungs and soul, and sobbed with all her being.

“W-Why ?” she muttered with a raspy voice, clenching her jaws.

He kneeled before her, reaching for her face with his strong hands. She wriggled at the squeak his glove made when he whipped out her tears with his thumbs. He was so tender with her, more than she could handle. She couldn’t help but lean in his touch.

“I want you to join me,” he declared, running delicate fingers in her hair.

“I don’t know how,” she whispered, bitterness still wrapping her like a cloth.

“ _You didn’t kill the Sith within._ ”

“Quit fighting it,” he said.

He pressed his full and pink lips against her forehead and she swore she felt it as if it was _real_. His smell, his warmth, his presence... It was so delightful, it calmed her down slowly. Everything felt even more unfair.

“You are not gone, are you ?” she asked, with all the hope she had left.

And that’s when he vanished, crushing everything inside of her. She was just left there, crying, hurting, barely breathing through her sobs and sniffs. Force, did she want to die right here right now to be free of this awful pain. She missed everything about him, as Ben Solo, the frightened boy who was forced into the darkness and came to rescue her, but also – and that thought made her shiver – as Kylo Ren, the devious man who killed for her and craved for her to become his queen by his side, begging her to join him as new rulers of the galaxy. Oh Force, did she miss _him_.

All of him.

Loneliness was the cruelest sentiment in the world. She had been lonely for so long on Jakku, but she didn’t know anything else back then. She didn’t know how complete a forcebond with him would make her feel, how well another person would be able understand her, how agonizing losing him would be. This new form of loneliness was the worst of all.

After what felt like hours, she finally found the strength to dry her cheeks, pick up her lightsaber and to stand up on one foot then the other. She was so weak she almost fell right back but she managed to stumble a little before inelegantly stabilizing. The sun was sinking down, shading the sky with warm colors. But everything felt so cold.

“I need to take a shower.”

She walked her way back to the Resistance base and couldn’t bother the wary glances she received when she passed by crowded corridors. She was more than relieved to find herself in the refreshner.

~

She was later in the cantina, sitting alone at a table with her platter and dry-out food, trying to ingest it. No one had dared to bother her until…

“I heard you finally came out of your room,” she heard Finn’s voice comment.

She didn’t even look at him, focused on her meal, but she could see him from the corner of her eye trying to get her attention. What did he want ?

“Are you monitoring me ?” she asked coldly.

She could see he was taken aback by her reaction, but she just didn’t care. After all, she knew he _was_ monitoring her and somehow it was really annoying her.

“Well, it’s more of uh… checking if you’re all right,” he explained.

“Right.”

She chewed on a new bite of salty seaweed salad. He was obviously looking for a way to say something he wanted to say from the start, as he was watching her awkwardly.

_Come on, spit it out._

She was almost relieved when he finally gathered his courage to begin :

“Listen, Maz-”

“I don’t want to talk about her,” she interrupted sharply.

“I get it but, you know, maybe you were a little…”

She glowered directly at him, making him gulp.

“Rough with her ?...” he carefully finished.

She simply turned back her head to her platter, taking a mouthful of her dry patty everyone called food around here.

“Is that right ?” she sighed.

“Rey, what is happening ? You are not… You were… What is going on with you ?”

She rolled her eyes.

“Don’t bother, this is beyond you,” she said.

“Excuse me ?”

Was he offended ?

“You heard me.”

“See, that’s what I am talking about. First, all those nightmares, and now _this_ ? I am just trying to understand, Rey, I am trying to help you.”

“Well, you shouldn’t.”

“What happened on Exegol, Rey ? Is Kylo Ren dead ?”

Pain. She suddenly banged the table and rose from her seat, glaring at him, not caring about the room falling silent and every gaze directed at them.

“Kylo Ren was dead _way_ before you thought he was,” she assured, anger threatening to take over once again.

“What is that supposed to mean ?”

“I saw Ben Solo on Exegol, he wasn’t Kylo Ren anymore. But you wouldn’t get it, would you ? You are just glad he’s gone, like the rest of them. You didn’t know who he was.”

“Hold up, I am just trying to figure all of this stuff out. So you and Kylo were… like…?”

He didn’t continue, couldn’t hide his disgust. Her heart was pounding loud in her hears. She had imagined how he would react, but seeing this expression on his face was still the worst thing she could have gone through in this very moment. It broke her heart.

“Rey, I knew you and him were… close for some reason but I didn’t know it was… _that_ close…”

Force, the way he was now looking at her…

“So what ?” she spat.

“I mean, why ? Why him, Rey ? The guy was evil, he _tortured_ your friends, _hell_ , he tortured _you_. How many times has he tried to kill us ? How many lives did he take in cold blood ? _Innocent_ lives, Rey ! He is a mass murderer ! He killed Han, his own father, right in front of you ! There is just _nothing_ he could have done that would make up for what he did, I just don’t get how you could feel anything more than disgust for the guy ! How can you mourn him like that ?”

She swallowed hard, a single tear rushing down her cheek.

“I knew it.”

Hearing all of this was too much she could handle. Now, more than ever, she _was_ alone. That’s when she saw it. The pity. It was in his eyes. Why was everyone always looking at her like this ? She just couldn’t stand it any longer.

“I mean, I am very sorry you feel this way, I feel for you, I _do_ , but… But I just don’t understand why you feel this way towards _him_ , Rey…”

Enough. That was enough. She swallowed, betrayal remaining in her throat.

“Fine,” she stated harshly.

She took her platter, she was almost done with it anyway, she put her remaining food in the trash then left all of the rest on the tray. She was beginning to walk back to her room when he grabbed her by the arm.

“Rey, I-”

“Leave me alone,” she demanded, snapping her arm out of his grasp.

He tried to follow her.

“What are you- ?”

“LEAVE ME ALONE !” she yelled, facing him with anger one last time.

There were whispers on her way, everybody just staring at her as she stormed out, whipping out new tears of frustration. Force, was she ever going to stop crying ? In this very moment, she hated everyone around her. _Everyone_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you there was going to be Reylo in the next chapter! Still VERY angsty (sorry again but HOW can she NOT feel like this after everything that is happening to her, right ?) I hope I can keep up with this posting-rate but, we'll see ! So you know, my favourite part to write is always the dialogue :) What about you ? What do you like to read most in my chapters ?  
> Thank you again for reading this fic, you are amazing, I can feel your love through your comments and that warms my heart and make me want to continue so... thank you again !  
> See you very soon for the next chapter ! :)


	5. The rising queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof ! This one took a little more work ! Hope you'll enjoy it :)

Rey knew she would face more gossip when she’d enter the meeting room but she didn’t care. She had to clear her mind, to focus on what was important : win the war against the First Order, make peace among worlds and end life misery.

_That should be easy._

She had been so exhausted last night after fighting with Finn that she had just come to her room, crashed into her bed and cried rapidly herself to sleep. She had almost made it through the whole night without a single nightmare, but it’s still what had waken her up in the morning. The vision of Ben disappearing on Exegol, _again_. As she was walking down the hallway, she swallowed back tears, not wanting to let go of her emotions, she was just so tired of feeling like her whole existence had no purpose, no meaning. Force, if she could just stop _feeling_. She was late, everyone would notice her entrance but it didn’t matter.

Nothing mattered now.

She opened the door, interrupting a lieutenant, and every eyes of the room landed on her. She quickly saw Poe, Chewbacca, Maz Kanata and Finn in the crowd but she didn’t dare to meet their gaze. She then discretely mixed herself up with the others in a very embarrassing silence.

“We are glad you’re with us, Rey,” Maz carefully stated with a nod that Rey slightly returned.

“Could we just get on with it now ?” Poe abruptly said.

Rey suspected Finn had told him about what had happened between them and how rude she had been, that explained his impetuosity and coldness towards her. She felt like a child who was being scolded for bad behavior, but at the same time, a hint of injustice began to spark in her heart. She tried to shake it out as they continued the meeting.

Suffering through all the exposition, Rey understood they were discussing what to do with a strategic planet the First Order still controlled, and from where they extracted most of their resources to build ships and weapons. They didn’t perfectly agree with one another but most of the Resistance was routing for taking it by force.

“Don’t we have Resistance sympathizers over there ? Couldn’t they help ?” Rose asked.

“Not as many as we wished,” Poe answered. “Karduul was historically one of the first planet to rally to the First Order and, since they boost their economy by regularly buying a large portion of their resources, they seem to be pretty loyal to them.”

“Isn’t there a diplomatic way ? A way to persuade them ?” she insisted.

“This system benefits them. There is no way they would change their minds. Even if we went to them for negotiation, we can’t afford letting them warn the First Order about our plan. They would know we would come, it’s too risky when we already lost so many soldiers.”

“Are you suggesting we should just, what, go over there and start killing anyone we see ?”

“No of course not, but if they attack, we’ll have to-”

“We are going to threaten them, of course they’re going to attack.”

“Then it leaves us no choice, doesn’t it ?”

“That’s not how we are supposed to win this war. Compassion, love, empathy is the way, there _has_ to be a better solution !”

“Sacrifices have to be made to save more lives in the future. We have to send a fleet over there and take over the population, dismantle the power institution in place and-”

“It will end in misery and death !”

“Give me another choice, Rose ! They are not just going to stop weapons production if we asked gently, are they ? The Resistance is broke, even with all the help we could get. Tell me how-”

“Fear,” Rey answered.

The debate between Rose and Poe stopped. The attention of the whole room was focused on her, again. She fought the urge of rolling her eyes as she cleared her throat.

“We should send two small units there to target the high ranks and the production sites simultaneously so they’d stop producing without warning the First Order and without having to use violence against a whole population. We make them change their allegiance by cutting out their resources and using fear and intimidation to take control over the planet.”

Finn lifted a finger in her direction and she narrowed her eyes, ready to snap back.

“That’s…” He paused. “Not a bad idea, actually.”

“I suppose we could send-”

“Send me,” Rey said.

Another silence. And again pity. Force, did she _hate_ that look. They were all eyeing each other with what appeared to be concern. Why were they hesitating ?

“I am not sure it’s a good idea, Rey,” Maz Kanata finally suggested.

“I am your greatest asset,” she assured in a frown. “I am your biggest chance at succeeding at this mission. I can do it.”

“We’ll send two units. Three of Zorii’s crew for the main production in the North, and four volunteers, _other_ than Rey, for the high ranks house in the South. Please come see me if you volunteer and we’ll establish together the details of the mission. Meeting adjourned,” Poe concluded.

“But-” Rey tried to protest.

“Meeting. Adjourned,” he insisted sharply, locking eyes with hers.

She bit hard the inside of her mouth. Everyone started leaving the room and she intended to face him to discuss his ridiculous decision. All of this was so unfair. Bubbling up, she didn’t even wait for everyone to be gone to walk up to Poe who was whispering something to Finn and Rose on the other side of the central table.

“Why won’t you let me go on this mission ?” she asked bluntly.

They froze. Seeing some of their expression when they turned to her really pissed her off.

“Would you all _stop_ looking at me like that ?!”

“Easy Rey,” Finn warned, putting himself between Poe and her.

“Poe, you know I am cable of doing this,” she pleaded. “I can go on my own instead of a unit. I know how to fight with the Force. I defeated Palpatine and all the Sith on Exegol. Winning will be effortless, easy. You have to let me-”

“Okay, let’s be clear, I don’t _have_ to do anything,” he said, crossing his arms.

She frowned harder.

“But you _know_ I am right, why won’t you-”

“You are too unstable,” he cut her off.

Her eyes widened, a strike of betrayal straining her gut and darkening her judgment. So, they _had_ been talking about her. She chuckled joylessly, looking away.

“Oh that’s _rich_ !” she exclaimed.

“Enrolling you for such a delicate mission would endanger your potential team as well as yourself,” Poe explained with a strict tone. “I am not letting you leave. This is an inconsiderate risk which I am _not_ willing to take.”

“I’m sorry, Rey, but Poe’s right,” Finn agreed. “With what you told Maz Kanata, and what you told me the other day, I don’t think letting you go is a good idea. You need to change your mindset, first. You won’t be able to control yourself.”

The memory of Ben’s words from the day before struck her mind and heart like a poisonous blade : “ _You once said no one understood you, but I do. They wouldn’t approve of me, of your choices, of who you are deep down._ ” He was right. He was so right…

“We are worried about you, Rey,” Rose timidly added.

“That is not your place,” she spat, darting at them with a threatening finger. “I know what I can do, I know what I need. None of you can understand what I am going through. You have _no right_ to judge what’s best for me. I want to be useful, I want to help the Resistance, let me.”

“As your general and as your _friend_ ,” Poe stated, “I can’t let you go. This is final, Rey.”

Anger immediately spread in her veins, catching her breath and taking over every muscle, every nerve, every cell of her body. Hatred, pain, injustice swallowed her whole. The dark side of the Force was everywhere around her, powered by her intense emotions. She didn’t think when she lifted her arm towards Poe, pushing with the Force everything around her. She felt the bones of his neck through the Force she was using to lift him up in the air, choking him with just the power of her will. He was panting, pain distorting his face and she liked it, seeing him at her mercy. She had total control over him, if she wanted, she could very easily just…

“LET GO OF HIM, REY !” she heard Finn bawl.

It snapped her out of it. Like suddenly waking up from a deep dream. She gasped when she released him in a thud on the ground, still feeling the pull of the dark. Force, did she just…? It was her, just now who just… She looked in confusion at her shaking pale hands, then at Rose and Finn running up to Poe, _her friend_ , she had just strangled with the Force. She stepped back, tears filling painfully her eyes. She was completely frightened, lost and so, _so_ alone. She couldn’t have just...

“Rey, are you- ?” Rose began as a panicked Finn was checking up on Poe.

“I have to leave,” she whispered, starring at her hands again. “I…”

Words stopped coming out of her mouth. What she just had done was…

“No, don’t leave, Rey, you-”

The door slammed close in the middle of Rose’s sentence.

~

She was in the hallway, walking at a frantic pace, not believing what just happened because of her. She went straight to the refreshner to pour some water on her face. She was shaking, maintaining herself up with the edge of the sink, struggling to breathe. When she looked up again, she glanced at herself in the mirror and nearly chocked when she saw her crimson eyes staring back at her. She shut her eyes and cried even harder. Shame, guilt and pain surging through her, nourishing more and more the dark side which was still ravaging her from inside. She felt again the change in the Force, the one she knew too well by now.

“So lonely,” he whispered slightly against the shell of her ear. “So afraid to leave. At night, desperate to sleep.”

“Not now,” she begged in a sob, through her teeth.

“Quit fighting it.”

She looked at the mirror; he was right behind her, standing very close to her, his dark and cold irises gazing her through the mirror. She could feel his fainted breath against the side of her face, sending shivers down her spine.

“I hurt h-him, Ben…” she managed to gasp out, guilt crashing her. “I hurt my friend…”

“Say it,” he ordered brushing his lips against the side of her neck, underneath her ear.

“I-I… I don’t know who I am anymore, I just… I can’t figure out w-why is…”

“Why what ?” He froze and she couldn’t answer. “Why what ? Say it.”

“W-Why is everything so complicated now that y-you’re… That you’re… Why did you die for me, Ben ? Why didn’t you just leave me for dead ?”

It took him a few seconds to consider her question before leaving again butterfly kisses in the crook of her neck, giving her more goosebumps as she almost lean in his touch. He grabbed her fingers very gently with his cold glove, and she cursed under her breath for not focusing on what she had just done to Poe rather than this delicious new sensations Ben – no, _Kylo_ – was providing her.

“That’s the only way you become who you were meant to be,” he confessed.

His long and pale nose came to caress the line of her jaw and she bit her lip, ashamed of what he made her feel in this _very inappropriate_ moment. Why wasn’t she feeling despair, guilt, compassion for Poe ? Why was it all fading away with Kylo’s delicate touch ? Maybe because for the first time, someone was accepting her, all of her.

“Who was I meant to be ?” she asked, sniffing and sighing at the slow and wet kiss he left on her cheek.

“The Force around you, feel it,” he muttered. “Feel its power, its allegiance, feel how strong you were back there, how powerful you can be if you let yourself be.”

She searched the Force, finding only abyssal beautiful darkness which empowered her, complied to her contradictory feelings, let her express herself without judging her. It was raw, intoxicating… Magnificent. She took a deep shuddered breath, giving in gradually to all this available power, letting herself feel her content when she hurt Poe, her thrill at all the power beaming with her. He traced with his nose the line between her cheekbone and her ear, making her quiver as last tears were rolling down her face.

_Delightful._

“Quit fighting it, Rey Palpatine,” he breathed in her ear.

“No,” she protested, looking her red-lighted eyes in the mirror, not afraid of what she saw anymore. “Not Palpatine.”

She spun around, drowning into his dark marvelous eyes, and pressed her body against his. His strong hands lodged themselves on the lower part of her back.

“Just Rey,” she insisted.

He bowed.

“Very well.” He looked intensely in her eyes and the way he pronounced next her name almost made her moan, a silky and low growl : “Rey.”

She tiptoed to cage his full mouth with hers, hissing hungerly as he breathed loudly against her chin, tightening his grip on her. Her hastily finger found their way to his long and dark curls and when he tried to slip his tongue between her lips, she pulled back his head, loving the submission and desire in his eyes.

“I am going to take what’s mine,” she declared. "Jakku, the First Order, they'll pay for what they did."

“Nothing will stand in your way, my queen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep. I went there. Sorry not sorry. Tell me what you liked about this one in the comments and what you hope to see in the next chapters, I am intrigued ;)  
> Also, thank you again for all you feedback and love, I love reading your comments and thoughts! This helps me cope.. Hahaha  
> See you soon for the next one ! :D


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